Journeys That Change Us Can Also Transform Us
The journeys we do not choose, and do not want to take, are often the ones that change us – for better or worse. Part of Integrated Wellness is taking on such journeys in such a way that they do not destroy parts of us, but instead bring depth of spirit and greater meaning and understanding that enriches the rest of our lives. These unchosen journeys that open us to suffering, distress, and anger, can open whole new dimensions of being. For those reading this in the midst of such a journey, open to the possibility of the following, and watch/develop them:
- When we do not give in to the negative, we are developing an inner strength we never knew we had. Sometimes, each day is a battle between losing personal ground, and gaining personal ground.
- As we must go beyond the “lands” we grew comfortable in – ever so hard – we have opportunity to develop even deeper bonds, greater love, and, a greater appreciation of what before we took for granted. Each day, look, and develop the capacity, for appreciating those little moments.
- Perhaps the greatest treasure is that heart break can give way to a very quiet and deep realization of the essence of life – the will to stay loving in life no matter what.
To Best Live Through These Journeys, Find Support that Sustains You — These Journeys Should Not be Taken Alone
Regardless of who is around us and with us, fears, anxieties, as well as loss of hope and positiveness take hold within us at times throughout difficult life journeys. No one can crawl into our thoughts and emotions. So, in these journeys, sharing and processing with others often has to be a conscious and intentional act. Part of Integrated Wellness is learning the personal skills of how, what, and when to share with whom. Here are a few tips:
First level of sharing: Each of these very difficult life journeys should have a friend who can be trusted, and is not directly involved in the journey. This person agrees to be the “sounding board” and “receiving net.” This takes an amazing amount of pressure off of everyone. If a friend is chosen, the agreement is that the friend does not have to solve or advise – just listen and hold with compassion.
When more is needed: A person trained in Transitional Psychology, not just a therapist or counselor, is an excellent mentor. Astute and compassionate questions can lead to those inner riches to be found in these journeys. These mentors should be both compassionate and provide insights that give direction as well as relief. Each session should give you one or the another. But, choices and decisions are understood to be yours – this is actually to help you develop that inner strength. (Our Institute offers a One 2 One Transitions program.)
In general: With sharing and mentoring in these journeys, a huge inner pressure can be released; and, with this comes a freeing in perception. There is more ease in “perceptive sharing” (being attuned to the other person’s receptivity level); and in this an amazing amount of support to be found – “well” people will respond with care and support, and help when they can. Asking for assistance, without expectation, should not be neglected.
In the difficult and unchosen life journeys, remember that each day, no matter how difficult, will give way to the next. Sometimes we have to get through one hour at a time. Also, we cannot find the true riches in life until we plum the depth of our being – these difficult and unchosen journeys do provide this. And, remember, the will to love life in each and every day no matter what is the very best compass to the greatest treasures.